Dear friends & family,

We hope this finds you healthy and happy. This past year was a very full one for Blair and me, and the coming year promises to be even more so!

Some of you have already heard our big news: Blair and I are becoming parents! Our baby is expected sometime between mid-June and mid-July. We are really looking forward to meeting this little being and growing together through the big changes ahead. I am having a great time growing my belly and feeling the baby move. Baby and I are starting the third trimester now and doing fine.

Feeling well is a daily source of joy for me, since the first months of my pregnancy were by far the most difficult time of my life. Sounds dramatic? It was! I have never, ever been so ill. I had hyperemesis gravidarum, an extreme version of morning sickness. To understand how this feels, imagine having food poisoning that goes on day and night for months at a time. It was quite an odyssey for both me and Blair, and it wasn't until I was 4 months along that we were able to experience my pregnancy as the expectation of a child rather than as some horrible disease.

(Blair writes: Truth be told, taking care of Alyce this way, and generally getting my butt kicked by the pregnancy starting day two -- instead of nine months away like I expected -- was really good for me. I had one moment, in the kitchen, of feeling like I could handle being completely of service to someone else without resentment, and with skill and grace.)

We confirmed my pregnancy with a test in mid-October, and within two days I had morning sickness. For a couple weeks I could still eat and maintain most normal activities, but by the middle of November I was basically bedridden, immobilized by relentless, profound nausea that went on for 24 hours every day.

Much of the time I was incapable of doing basic self-care activities like showering or brushing my teeth. At the worst times I couldn't hold a conversation or even look someone in the eye, my speech restricted to monosyllables (though I did manage to say "vasectomy" with some frequency). I became dehydrated from vomiting, and at one point required IV fluids. The combination of overwhelming nausea with desperate hunger, the magnitude of my discomfort, and the incessant quality of it all made me feel I was losing my mind.

Around Christmas, at 13 weeks' gestation, things shifted and although I still felt really lousy I was able to begin eating some real food and conversing normally with Blair. What an incredible blessing that was! I went through a convalescent phase for about a month after that, and by around 17 weeks I was feeling basically OK. These days I get pretty tired, and I have minor discomforts, but I actually feel good a lot of the time! I just can't say enough about how thrilling it is for me to do normal things, eat nourishing food, and just enjoy being pregnant. One thing I am really enjoying is sharing pregnancy with my sister Marcia, who lives here in town; she expects her third child just two weeks after our baby is due.

I could fill page after page writing about my experience of being so sick; I am in awe of it. Now that I am well, it's easier to appreciate some of the lessons my illness brought me. I have a completely new understanding of suffering, what it is and what it means, and I am certain this will be of great use in my chosen work. Letting go of my old beliefs was a painful process, but my spiritual perspective on nature and motherhood has now expanded to better include what could be called the shadow side. I used to think I knew something about this, but since my illness I know that I have only begun to understand. Another great lesson: I spent a great deal of time saying no to the sickness, trying to escape from those awful feelings. I could not escape, and finally I was able to say yes, to say with my whole soul to my baby, I will do whatever I have to do for you, whatever it takes. I don't know what more may be asked of me but I am willing.

I am deeply grateful for all the ways I was blessed during this illness. At all times, every indication was that my baby was fine and I could expect a full recovery. I live in a warm house, in a safe environment. I had no other children to care for. Although it was unfortunate that I had to drop out of school, I didn't have a job to lose. We had the resources to get whatever food I thought I could eat. I had access to excellent health care (including my acupuncturist, who saved my hide – thank you, Diane!).

I had amazing support from family and friends at every turn. (Thank you all! Extra special thanks to my mother, who came almost every day to help care for me, and to Blair for his endless patience.) And because of my work, I knew enough about pregnancy that I didn't have to contend with a big learning curve along with being so sick. I have thought often of the countless women in my own community and around the world who are not so lucky as I have been .

2003 was a big year even before we conceived. The main event was doing major renovations to our house. We gutted and rebuilt both bathrooms and the kitchen, fixed the roof, added amazing garden beds and a patio, and completed long-awaited plaster repairs and painting throughout the house. I say we did the renovations, though other people did the work itself. Our part – managing the project; choosing fixtures, tiles, and the like; packing all our possessions, moving out, then moving back in; and financing it all – added up to a full-time effort for both of us which went on for months.

It was certainly stressful, but the house has never looked so good – and we love our patio! We are indebted to my sister and her family, who gave us a place to stay during the project, to my parents, who let our office space take over an entire floor of their house, and to all the other family members who helped us out. Thank you!

The impetus for fixing up the house was that it is the birthplace and childhood home of golf legend Walter Hagen, who dominated professional golf during the 1920s and 30s. He was a colorful, charismatic player, and many of the records he set have yet to be beaten. Because Hagen is revered by his fans and because Rochester is something of a golf mecca, our plan is to rent the house out periodically to wealthy golfers who come to play or watch tournaments. During the PGA Championships (held here in Rochester in August), we were visited by local reporters as well as camera crews from CBS Sports, the Golf Channel, and a production team from London. In October, Blair and I enjoyed hosting our first Hagen event, with about a dozen guests here for a tour.

Another big event for us was hosting, with my local relatives, a family reunion and open house in honor of my grandmother's 90th birthday in June. The event was at Blair's drum and dance studio, a beautiful room for a party with space for some 350 people (and available for rent). Family members came from all over the country to celebrate with Ruthie, and we had a fabulous time.

One of the best things that happened for us this past year was that we had the great good fortune to go to Guatemala for 10 days at the end of June. We were invited for our friend Mark Johnson's wedding, as well as a one-week pre-wedding trip with his family. It was easily the best vacation we've had since our Bali "honeymoon" in 1991-- a wonderful, deeply rejuvenating, amazing trip. Guatemala is fabulous, and we saw the very best of it, including hot springs, volcanoes (erupting!), beautiful Mayan/Catholic churches and festivals, Mayan ruins, and so much more. We loved being with Mark and his family, and we really loved being with each other – it was the first time in many, many months that the two of us had taken the time to simply relax and play together. Great!!!

Since Blair's drum and dance studio was opened a year and a half ago, he has settled into a very busy routine as a music teacher, accompanist, performer, and studio administrator. A huge part of his focus is teaching children and teenagers, which happens at the studio and in schools throughout the city. This is tremendously satisfying and energizing work for Blair. The work that he and his business partner, dancer Colleen Hendrick, are doing has a huge impact on quality of life for their students of all ages. It is particularly important for the teenagers, who are provided with a constructive focus and a deeply enriching, positive environment at an age when such support is crucial.

For more information about the studio, visit the Bush Mango Drum and Dance website.

When Blair isn't drumming, he is busy in his office here at home, doing business coaching and Internet marketing work. His current focus there is building the Pile Cabinet business.

The Pile Cabinet System is an ingenious solution to paper management for people who are "pilers" rather than "filers." Before I started using my own Pile Cabinet, the chaos on my desk had me feeling desperate and out of control, but now I can find pretty much anything in a matter of moments. Blair gets similar testimonials from people all the time, and we feel there's potential for a lot of growth with this product.

He's a little hard to keep up with, and usually posts links to new projects at www.blairhornbuckle.com

(Blair writes: Have you noticed the Internet is kind of a big deal in our household? To balance out the high-tech stuff, I'm continually thankful for all the very low-tech drumming that I make time to enjoy. We've recently played with the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra in beautiful Eastman Theater, at many area schools including RIT and MCC, and for 500 business leaders in Batavia. We've also been invited to perform in the near future at the Rochester Museum and Science Center, for the United Way, for the University of Rochester, and for a statewide gathering of stop smoking experts.)

My work as a student ground to a halt when I became ill. I had really wanted to finish my fall semester courses, but I wasn't able. I graduated at the end of 2002 with a bachelor's degree in nursing after three years of full-time nursing school (I had completed my associate's degree and become an RN one year earlier). In January of 03, I started working toward my master's in the midwifery program at SUNY Stony Brook. The university is on Long Island; it is a distance learning program. Students do coursework via computer and gain clinical experience in their own communities. My clinical work in midwifery was scheduled to start in January, but as soon as I became pregnant I knew I wanted to focus on my own mothering instead.

It was hard to walk away from school when I was only two years away from being a licensed midwife, but the timing is perfect for us to start a family. So far, my experience of pregnancy, both the fun parts and the challenges, has only increased my desire to practice midwifery. It will be some years in the future, but I shall return!

[ IMPORTANT NOTE: If you're interested in hearing from us every now and again by email, we ask that you add your name and email address to our new private, personal email list via the box at the top right of this page. This will help us do a better job of keeping in touch with you, and ensure that you'll receive only one message from us (instead of one from each of us). We'll only email you again two more times with reminders about joining our list. You'll be able to easily change your email address, or remove yourself from the list anytime, using the link at the bottom of future messages we send out. ]

Again, we hope you and your dear ones are well, and we wish you every happiness in the coming year.

Our love and blessings,
Alyce & Blair

P.S. If any of you dear readers have baby gear or maternity clothes you plan to part with, or you'd like to lend, please let me know. We have some serious preparing to do!

Email Alyce.

Blair: 585-586-5008
Email Blair.